The Crypt Keeper
by anniearmitage
Summary: Part Nine of Horror & Love Series
1. Chapter 1

_"Welcome boys and ghouls. Tonight's tale has to do with me, personally. Isn't that right, Nicole?"_  
 _"Yes. It's more of a tale of love but don't worry. We're not going to bore you with the sappy love you hear all the time."_  
 _"Then again, we're not normal!"_  
 _"No. Normal love just won't do for the Crypt Keeper! But, we shouldn't keep these kids bored all night."_  
 _"A good point you raise there. Now kiddies, this story, though packed with very weird romance, it's filled with another important element as well. I call this story...Bad Luck..."_

Okay, I have to say, out of all the worst days in my life, this Friday was my worst. I am not joking either. I'll tell you about it from beginning to end. That is, unless I come encounter with even more bad luck. My boyfriend, David, and I were making out in my bedroom and my parents caught us. They confused this for attempting to have sex. In result I was kicked out with all my stuff. I asked David if I could stay with him for awhile but he decided to break up with me because of my parents' constant paranoria. So, without a place to stay or a boyfriend to crash with, I decided to call one of my good friends. But, as I explained my problem, she screamed at me through the phone. She was telling me that every time I come over with a problem, I end up getting her caught up in it or making her have bad luck. Living in a small town, I wanted to check into the local motel but guess what? Yep, you guessed it: Full as a buzard's savenger belly. So, I decided on going into town to find a motel to sleep in. I know that disgusting but what else can I do? So, on my way into town, I missed several exits by accident. But the more I drove, the further I was getting away from the city and its exits. I was on the road going who knows where. The road was even becoming more and more deserted as I drove. And then, right in the middle of the road, I ran out of gas. Oh, if you want to know what was worse than that, it started raining very heavily. You couldn't see one inch past the glass, the rain came down so much.  
"Why must bad stuff happen to me?" I asked myself. I started to mess around with the things in my car until I noticed dim lights in the background. _What's with the dim lights? That can't be a car. Don't tell me it's a house!_ It couldn't hurt, could it? I mean what's the worse that could happen? Unless the person or people living in there are murderous, perverted, or cannibolistic I think I'm fine. I put on my jacket, grab my flashlight, and head out into the watery cold outside to seek proper shelter. The closer I got, the bigger the dim lights became even though it took a very long time. A storm started as I got onto the lawn of a very old looking poorly kept house. Finally on the porch of the dimly lit house, I knock on the door. I waited awhile, seeing no one answer, and knocked louder. Instead of someone coming to answer or an angry remark, the door creaked open like in those mystery films.  
"Hello?" I called, "I need some help, please!" I poked my head through the door and a thought came to me. _What if this house is really abandoned?_ I looked around and noticed that the whole place was dirty and full of cobwebs. But what made me believe that there was someone here were the candles lighting the rooms. They were tall, freash, wax sticks lit not more than maybe moments ago. Suddenly, there was a noise down stairs like someone was walking around. Even though it was none of my business, I decided to check it out. I felt both scared and excited as I decended into a basement, quietly. I walked down a flight of stairs before seeing a door. I slightly opened the door but it was too dimly lit to see anything. I decided to open it wider so that I could see a little more. Big mistake. The next thing I saw was a mumified skeleton looking guy walking around in a dark redish raged, robe. I thought about walking away slowly but the door creaked loudly and the skeleton guy looked straight at me. I let out what I guess was a squeak of fear but that didn't stop this guy from creeping me out and my heart from beating so fast. He then started making this crazy laugh that sounded maniac and scared the shit out of me. I'm sorry, but if you found a walking skeleton in a basement you'd be scared too. I ran up the stairs, out the door, into the lawn, and before I could get off the hill, I slipped on the wet grass. My head hit the ground very hard. Hard enough to knock me unconcious. The last thing I remember was that everything was dark and fuzzy. Bad luck always has a way of finding me...


	2. Chapter 2

The smell of dust and a bright beam of light were the things that woke me up. I sat up and had a splitting headache on the back of my head. _To think, that ground was even hard enough to leave me a horrible headache._ I just realized that I wasn't outside but on an old dusty bed. I guess I was dragged back to the house with the skeleton guy walking around in the basement. And wouldn't you like to know how correct I was? That guy from last night was sitting next to me on a chair. He was definately a mixture between a mummified corpse and a skeleton. He even had long white hair that that resembled that of most corpses. Either this guy was dead or this was one very realistic Halloween costume.  
"What are you?"  
"I'm the Crypt Keeper and this is my house that you decided to trespass in." His voice was strange. Kind of high pitched but still sounding like a male. I guess that would explain why his laugh sounded so crazy.  
"My car ran out of gas and I was trying to find somewhere to stay for the night. I'll leave if you're mad."  
"I'm not mad. Even if I were, you can't leave."  
"Why?"  
"Your ankle's twisted pretty bad. It'll take awhile for it to heal."  
"I think I can manage." I move over to the side of the bed and stand up. I take a few steps then felt a horrible pain from my right ankle and fell to the ground.  
"See? I told you," I heard him comment after I fell. I got on my hands and knees and crawled back to the bed.  
"What am I going to do now?"  
"Just what I told you. You're staying here until your ankle's fixed. Don't worry. I'm not going to cut you open and do experiments on you while you're here." He laughed and I couldn't tell if he was joking or really going to do that. The shocked expression on my face made him laugh harder.  
"It's just a joke!" This guy was strange. If I have to be in the same house as him, I might have to study him and what he does. I guess it couldn't be too bad. This guy, the Crypt Keeper, is probably just lonely too. Maybe he needs someone to talk to or something. While he was still cracking up, I noticed my stuff was in the room. They were still packed up and piled in the corner of the room.  
"You actually, went out into that pouring rain to get my stuff?"  
"No. I got that this morning when you were still asleep. There was no point in going out in that down pour, so I got them when it was clear but still dark. Hey, you don't have anyone that's going to miss you, do you?"  
"Why do you want to know that?"  
"In case they think you're missing when really you're just trying to heal your ankle."  
"Not really. My parents kicked me out, my boyfriend left me, and one of my closest friends didn't want me to stay with her."  
"Why didn't you stay in town if you were you homeless? What brings you to a place like this?"  
"I was headed to town but I missed several of the exits and ended up drivingon this deserted road to here. I ran out of gas and saw the candles lit and that's how I ended up here."  
"Do you like to tell stories?"  
"Umm, yeah. I write stories, actually."  
"Wait here." He left the room and went down stairs. I couldn't hear anything else after that and wondered what he was doing. After awhile, I started to think that he was fooling around with ? I have no idea, it just seemed his character to mess around. He then appeared at the doorway with a big book in his hands. He came over and set the book on my lap.  
"What is it?"  
"It's a book with many stories in it. I call them _Tales from the Crypt_." (You saw that coming, I know it)  
"That sounds pretty interesting. Are they horror stories?"  
"In a way. That should keep you business while your ankle heals." He leaves and I start to read the endless pages of these strange yet entertaining stories. By the time it was noon, I hadn't even read a quarter of the book! _I guess both my ankle and this book will be awhile to finish._ Comes to find out, this book is one of the Crypt Keeper'd most prized possessions. He owns others but this is one of the most important to him. He said he'd show me around the house when my ankle was a little better. The Crypt Keeper was not as scary as I thought he was. Then again, I wasn't prepared to see a walking dead guy. I was ready for in case there were murderers, rapists, or cannibols. Not a dead guy. Well, I have to deal with it whether I like it or not because it looks like I'm going to have to stay. No bother. I just wish I hadn't gotten all screwed up in this. It's okay being here and all but I just really wanted to go home. Home sickness hitting me already. Oh well, I can't help what I got myself into. Until then, I guess I'll just lay here and read this book.


	3. Chapter 3

My ankle had a slow time healing but it was less painful in the middle of the second week. There was slight pain when walking but it was okay. When the Crypt Keeper showed me around the house, I had to limp in order to move around. At this rate, I could now get out of the bedroom and limp around. I guess luck came to me after all even if I'm being nursed by a dead guy. Okay, that's still kind of weird. I was also almost done with the book he lent me. My favorite story so far is the one about the insane killer dressed up as Santa Clause and scaring the shit out of this woman. (That's actually the first episode I ever saw on Tales from the Crypt) The stories were quite hilarious and sometimes the Crypt Keeper would come in to see what I was laughing at. Another funny thing, we share the same sick humor. Well, it took another week to heal it completely but I'm glad that the Crypt Keeper was nice enough to help me out, even though he scared the shit out of me when we first met. But, even though my ankle did heal, I stayed around for an extra day. Why? Well, I felt really close to him. Kind of like a friend you could say. So, I decided to stay around to keep him company before I go. Also, I just wanted to read the stories again! So, as I sat at the bottom of the stairs in the front room, I heard a loud banging on the door. It was louder than what I did that night. I put the book down, got up, and answered the door. To my huge surprise, it was David! Two things that I say this is shocking: One, we were basically out in the middle of nowhere and two, he broke up with me so why would he be looking for me?  
"Nicole?"  
"David?"  
"What are you doing here?"  
"What are _you_ doing here?"  
"Your mom tried to call you to explain that she was sorry about that Friday night. You never answered so we thought something was wrong. We've been looking all over for you. What are you doing here?"  
"I broke down and twisted my ankle while coming here."  
"Why would you come to this dump?" _Okay, why do I like this guy again?_ I wasn't about to tell him that my new friend is a dead guy.  
"Honestly, David. Do you see any other houses around here?"  
"No, but why couldn't you stay in your car?"  
"So, you want to be cramped up in a car with a twisted ankle for two weeks?"  
"You're being kind of harsh."  
"You broke up with me because of my parents."  
"And I'm sorry. Will you come back with me? Just so that everyone's not worried about you?" I sighed and thought about his offer.  
"I guess. Just let me get my stuff before we leave."  
"Sure. I'll be waiting in the car." He kissed me on the cheek and left. I turned around and saw the Crypt Keeper at the top of the stairs.  
"Hey. I'm going to leave now. It was niceof you to keep me here until my ankle healed. Thank you."  
"Thank you for keeping me company. I never met anyone who loved my book so much." I brought all my stuff out to the front door and looked back at him.  
"Good-bye, Crypt Keeper."  
"Good-bye, Nicole. And just one more thing before you leave."  
"What is it?" He took my hand, pulled me to him, and kissed me on the lips. I grew shocked when he did this. I didn't know he liked me in that way. But, why didn't he tell me this before? His kiss was very long and pasionate if you could call it that. When he broke the kiss, I could only look at him in shock. He laughed again at my reaction.  
"That's for good luck. You're going to need it." I was still shocked but David's horn brought me back to reality. I gathered my things, put them in his car, and we drove off. But, I couldn't get the Crypt Keeper off my mind through most of the ride. Before we could get back to the main road I looked at David.  
"David, turn back."  
"What?"  
"I said turn back."  
"Why? Did you forget something?"  
"No. I think I belong there."  
"Excuse me?"  
"No really. I could fix it up and make it nice."  
"What the hell? Why would you go back to a place like that? It could be infested with rats and dead animals." _You're only half right. He's dead but he's not an animal._  
"I have a friend that still lives there. I want to live with him so that I know he'll be okay. Please turn back." David sighed in aggitation and dispair but turning the car around meant that he was going to do it. All I could think about was that I was going to be with the Crypt Keeper. We pulled up to the house and I got all my stuff out of the car. I hugged him and we said our good-byes. As he drove off, I ran into the house and saw the Crypt Keeper sitting at the top of the stairs.  
"Well, it took you long enough," he said playfully.  
"Cypt Keeper! Because of what you did, I couldn't stop thinking of how i like being here. I didn't know it until now but I love you!" Okay, I just realized that I sound seriously corny. I sound like those guys from _Romeo & Juliet_ except not in poetic form (I know, I use them as an example a lot. What else do you want me to say? _Corpse Bride_? I don't watch that many romance films anyways. Unless you count _Silnce of the Lambs_ as a bit of a romance film). Well, I guess if I said it this way or any other way, he'd still laugh. That was exactly what he was doing, too. Laughing his dead insane ass off. Thinking it a joke I almost wanted to strangle him but he started dancing and chanting "it worked" over and over again.  
"I knew you'd come back! Just as I planned! Love always finds a way back to it's rightful place!" He dances down the stairs and kisses me on the lips again. Okay, he's a bit crazy too. Oh well, I can deal with that. So, yeah, it's just what it sounds. I love the Crypt Keeper and the Crypt Keeper loves me. I stayed with him and we ended up having a little boy. He grew up to be just like his father except he was half human, half dead (Then again, so is the Crypt Keeper. It was an episode that was very touching...in a weird twisted kind of way). So, in a way, you can say we lived happily ever after.

 _"...Awww, wasn't that just touching, Nicole?"_  
 _"It brings a tear to my eye every time."_  
 _"So, yes, I may be tied down but at least I have a child that is happy to continue my work long after I'm gone."_  
 _"But you're already dead."_  
 _"Not that kind of gone. Our honeymoon this year."_  
 _"Oh, that's right! You got me for a second!"_  
 _"So, kiddies, though love may be a once in a lifetime shot, you can always remember where to look for your true love."_  
 _"In the most unexpected of places."_  
 _"Or my house!" *Laughter that trails off*_


	4. Epilogue

Sitting at the side of the bed, I read a story to my 9-year-old son from the book of strange and exciting tales. As I read the last few lines, my son looked calm and relaxed.  
"My special little boy. Have good dreams tonight."  
"Mother," he whispered.  
"Yes?"  
"Why do Father and I look different from you?"  
"That's because you and your Father are half dead."  
"Oh. I just wondered."  
"That's okay. It's all right to wonder." I exit the room and go down to the basement where my husband, the Crypt Keeper, was playing a game with his friends. Through the years, I've seen many of his friends. A lot of them were okay. Whenever they come over, they usually just play games. Sometimes they gamble and other times they just fool around. It's hard to keep drinks in the house because they always empty the bottle before the night ends. Although, they are still entertaining whether they're drunk or sober.  
"Hey, your wife's here," one of them said as a joke. Several look up while the others keep their eyes on the wheel on the wall. It was an old game they enjoyed playing from time to time. They were arguing to see who was going to go first.  
"I bet you'd like to be up there, Nicole."  
"Oh yes, I'd just love for all of you to take turns throwing knives at my spinning body." I still act kind of sarcastic with them but they know I'm joking. And they laughed at my responce and jokingly push me toward the wheel. Then, the Crypt Keeper decided to go first. I wasn't that concerned about him having knives thrown at him. He's proved me time and time before that he can't really die. So, as they strap him to the wheel, I watch while taking a sip of the wine. They spin him around and they all take turns throwing knives at him. Several hit him but he was laughing like a maniac while spinning around.  
"Hey, Nicole," another friend said, "You wanna have a go?"  
"I don't think that's a good idea. I'm pretty buzzed."  
"Okay, one try. It can't hurt."  
"Well, I guess throwing one won't do too much damage." I get up and he hands me a knife. I couldn't see straight but I took a shot. I heard a thunk as it hit the wheel but I also heard the whole room crack up in laughter.  
"I know, I throw like a girl and have the worst aim in the world. Must you laugh until sanity?"  
"If that's true then why don't you look where it landed?" I rubbed my eyes and took a good look. I remembered the other knives' placements except for one. The knife I threw was located really close to a very special place for men. I started crackng up laughing. I can't believe I almost stabbed him _there_. After we stopped laughing, someone got him down along with the knives. The Crypt Keeper sat down for a moment and had a drink of wine. We watched the others play with the wheel and have their little fun with tortiring everyone.  
"Nicole," he said. I looked over and saw him on the verge of laughing his ass off.  
"What's so funny?"  
"I am never letting you play this game again." I laughed and the night just ended in a fit of laugher. It was a great time.


End file.
